Hope you’re all doing well today! Happy Valentine’s Day! Today, your feed is probably covered in “what to get your significant other for Valentine’s Day post” or “swipe up” for this and that and all the mushy couple pictures, so I’ll be that person to do just the opposite and talk about loving and dating yourself and being your own Valentine. This is a similar post to the one I did last year as some of you have read, that I’m not really big on Valentine’s Day. To be completely honest, I just think it’s a silly day. I, personally think everyday with your Boyfriend, Girlfriend, Partner, Fiance/Fiancee, Wife or Husband or whatever type of your relationship you have, should be “Valentine’s Day.” I think you should love and date each other everyday you are together or make plans to be together. Like I get the idea of it, but if you only want to celebrate your love for each other once a year, I don’t know if it’s just me, but everyday should feel like a honeymoon with a good roast to love ratio (HAHA).
Love yourself, be your own Valentine
Growing up, society teaches you that in order to be loved, you have to be “beautiful and popular.” Popular, do you really have to be popular to be loved? No, you do not. Do you have to be beautiful to be loved? No, because everyone is beautiful in our own unique ways. Girls are taught they always have to be put together, wear makeup and dress classy. But the truth is, you’re beautiful whether you are wearing makeup or not, you don’t have to be dressed up like you’re headed to a gala, and girls (and boys) can wear whatever they want and no one has the right to judge them. Boys are taught they have to be masculine and that “boys don’t cry or show feelings.” You know what? Boys can cry all they want. Boys can show their feelings without being labeled. Another thing females and males face on a regular basis? Physical (body) shaming. If you’re a size 0, good for you. If you’re a size 14 or bigger, good for you. If you’re in between, good for you. If you have abs, good for you. If you don’t have abs, good for you. One does not make you “more beautiful or handsome.” You’re all beautiful in your own size, skin colour, ethnicity, your own identity.
One of the things my parents taught my brothers and I, is to “love and be yourself in a world in a world that expects you to act a certain way.” They’ve always taught us about manners and being kind to people, but they also taught us to have a personality. Okay, maybe my sass is hereditary (cough, cough Mom), but being yourself and loving yourself is a rebellious act. You don’t need to be somebody you are not. You are not “weird” if you act a certain way. I, mean what is normal? Are we going by society’s definition of normal or your definition of normal. It’s your life, live it how you want to live. As long as you are not hurting anybody and are good to people, I don’t see anything wrong with being yourself and loving yourself.
Self loving is so, so important. Break the stereotype. Don’t be like the rest of them. Stay true to yourself. You don’t have to impress anyone.
A few weeks back I shared this picture below on my Instagram story.
A friend of mine saw this post and was like “Christina, can you make this quote pretty?” and I think this quote is beautiful. Not only because it’s true or most of it is true (depending who you ask), but society teaches you life is about appearance. It’s not. You don’t have to do anything you are not comfortable doing. It’s your life.You don’t have to be an Instagram model to be considered beautiful, nor do you have a big following to be loved and appreciated. So, next time you go on social media, I’m not saying everything is just a facade, but a good percentage of what we see is just that, an appearance. For example, today your Instagram timelines will probably be flooded with couples wishing each other Happy Valentine’s Day online. Are they happy? Sure, they could be, but only they know and only they have the right to know. This is also true vice versa. Just because people don’t talk about things or post about things does not mean it’s not happening or not true. Maybe they’re private people or maybe they just don’t feel the need to post anything and living their life without the need to prove anything.
Another thing I wanted to touch on is that your worth is not measured by likes, followers and “OMG goals” or “relationship goals” comments. In a world filled with these comments, does your self worth or your relationship really come to how many outsiders like your content? The number of followers you have? The amount of “couple goals” comments you get? A bunch of likes versus none to a few likes? Having more likes does not mean the couple with the more number of likes is “better.” No couple is better than the other, no matter how many “couple goals” comments they get (I hate that word. Ninetyfour87 readers, remember when I had a blog post and ranted about goals and “OMG goals” comments? Not my thing, it’s SUPER annoying and cringe worthy). I never really got the point of sharing, or over sharing online, but also not saying those who don’t share are better than those who do share, just do you, and do want you want. But if you think your worth is based on the opinions of outsiders, are you really living your life? Or living the life to get likes, comments and followers? Are numbers really important? Is it because you like the attention? Why should their opinion matter? Again, this just goes back to self love. If you love yourself, respect yourself and the people who truly matter in your life, the opinion of others and the naysayers are worthless. You don’t have to explain yourself as long as you are completely in love with yourself (or your relationship).
I’ll be the first to admit that I date myself on a regular basis. What do I mean by that? Well, I treat myself – whether it’s the movies alone (I like going with people, but sometimes you just want to watch the entire movie without someone next to you bothering you, you know?), going out to eat and eating what I like and buying my own things with my own money etc., I think you need to be your own Valentine.
DATE YOURSELF IDEAS
MOVIES // Go watch a Chick Flick or if that’s not your thing, watch the latest action or thriller movie. I promise watching a movie alone is not “weird.” I recommend going on a weekday during the work day (not a Tuesday).
MANI AND PEDI // Go to a mani and pedi date and spoil yourself. Okay, I actually suck at this and won’t do it until I remember to schedule it in, but gotta keep it fresh, you know?
RETAIL THERAPY // Been eyeing that new top? Or are you are makeup junkie? Treat yourself! Okay, I’m not saying to be a shopacholic, but you need to treat and spoil yourself once and a while!
BOOK WORM // If you love to read like I do, treat yourself to a new book. You get to learn something and get to add to your library.
FOOD IS GOOD FOR THE SOUL // Guys think that all a girl wants is a boyfriend or a relationship, but in reality, us girls just want to eat food without gaining weight. Treat yourself to a nice brunch with your girlfriends, lunch, dinner or a sweet treat.
SEE AN ATTRACTION IN YOUR CITY // My work I.D gets me unlimited access to Toronto attractions such as the CN Tower, AGO, ROM and much more, so I try to schedule one in at least once a week.
STAY HOME, RELAX AND UNWIND // If you’re a homebody like me and like to lounge around, order or cook your favourite food, play some music or watch Netflix. It’s the little things in life that make me happy.
There’s something very calming, peaceful and exciting about taking yourself on a date. You don’t have to worry about anyone else and can spend as long as you like. If you haven’t tried dating yourself, you should!
Have any “date yourself” ideas? Let me know!
For my single readers
You don’t need a guy or a girl or anyone to be loved, cherished or to prove your worth. You can do that by yourself. You don’t need flowers or chocolates to feel wanted and loved. This is a time to live it up (responsibly!). This is a time to live your life. You don’t have any responsibilities or need to take in another person’s feelings into consideration, or plan it around that (not that you need to). Book a girl’s trip, stay at home and have a girl’s night or a night to yourself. Spoil yourself today and everyday! You don’t necessarily need to spend money to spoil yourself. Spoil yourself with an extra hour of sleep, spoil your self with a Netflix binge watching session, spoil yourself to a nice, relaxing bath, do something at least once a day and give yourself “me time” and I promise you, it helps!
Last but not least, yes, relationships looks nice and all, but being in a relationship is not everything. Relationships aren’t for everyone. Relationships are hard. Please don’t settle. Please never, ever settle in life especially, in a relationship. Don’t enter into a relationship just because everyone you know is in a relationship, getting engaged or married. Don’t force anything. Also, if you are not happy in a relationship, leave. You only have one life, are you gonna really fake it for the rest of your life? Don’t you want to be so in love, your cheeks hurt? You want someone to compliment you. Someone who encourages you to grow. Someone who makes you a better person. You’re enough on your own, you don’t need someone who “dulls your sparkle.” This goes to everyone, live your life happily. You’re the only one in this entire world that truly knows what you want.
So, today whether you have a special someone in your life and get to spend it together or are spending it apart, or you’ll be with family and friends, or you’ll be flying solo this February 14 (or any other day for that matter), be good to yourself. Be happy with your life. Love yourself. Treat yourself because you don’t need anyone to do that for you. Celebrate your relationship or celebrate being single. Be happy today and everyday.
Okay, so in other news, since today is “Love Day” and I love Baseball, here’s a poem that I thought of this morning:
Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
Blue Jays Baseball is back,
How excited are you?!
Keep on smiling and sending my love,