One of my pet peeves, is when someone says “omg you’re so perfect” or “you’re goals.” It’s kinda disturbing when people say stuff this. It’s disturbing since no one in this world is perfect. Perfect does not exist. A perfect person does not exist. Being a perfect human being is impossible. We’re all human, we all make mistakes. Mistakes is how we learn. Mistakes help us grow. Mistakes make us a better person.
We often hear and read about the “perfect person” who could do no wrong, someone “educated,” someone “beautiful,” someone “successful” who everyone should aspire to be, because you know they’re “so perfect.” We often hear and read about the “perfect body” or the “perfect life” or the “perfect marriage” or the “perfect couple” or the “perfect personality.” But despite what we often hear and read about, that “perfect” does not exist.
That perfect couple and marriage you think exists, it doesn’t. Relationships are hard. I’ve never been married, but I’ve heard it’s hard. Couples in relationships, whether they are dating, engaged or married, are not always lovey dovey, holding hands, making out, cuddling. Relationships are not always sunshine and rainbows. Couples have disagreements and argue. Couples also want to have their own space and leave each other alone. And sometimes, even though a couple love each other very much and want to be together, it doesn’t always work out.
That “perfect” you hear and read about is subjective to every human being. We often hear about these perfect scenarios in movies, in books, in magazines, in pop culture where someone is telling their version of “perfect” – where they describe someone, something that does not exist. The author, the director, the screenwriter who are doing their job to portray a perfect fantasy. Or the art director and casting director who find a “beautiful” model to model their brand and a model who has a dedicated team to do their hair and makeup, but no matter how “beautiful” they are, there’s a 100% chance they will still be photoshopped. We hear that a person is educated because they have degrees, went to school and got good grades. Does education, degrees, going to the best schools and getting good grades really prove someone is educated, perfect or successful? No! Look at Bill Gates, for example, who dropped out of Harvard College. A successful entrepreneur who is also very humble and helps others. We hear that a person is successful because they have a good job. Does a good job really mean you’re successful? You could have a good, high paying job, but it does not automatically mean you are successful. That’s just it. Perfect does not exist. Perfect is made up. Perfect life, perfect job, perfect education, none of it exists.
That “perfect person” who you’ve seen on the cover of a magazine or on your Instagram feed and wished you looked like them, they themselves have insecurities. They have their bad days and days they don’t feel 100% confident and “beautiful.” There’s days they will go work out to achieve the “perfect body” and eat healthy and then there’s days they will have a cheat meal or cheat day and not work out. That “perfect beauty” you see online could also be a photoshopped version of the individiual, it could also be a mix of plastic surgery. The “perfect beauty” is subjective to every person. What I think is the “perfect” guy may not be perfect to you. Just like someone may find me attractive, I could also be unattractive to others.
That “perfect person” who our parents told us to aspire to be, has hurt someone. There’s a 100% chance that everyone on this planet has hurt someone. I’m not talking physically hurting someone, it could also be verbally and emotionally hurting someone. We’ve all gossiped before, we’ve all talked about someone behind their back. We’ve all hurt someone on this planet before. It doesn’t necessarily mean you’re automatically bad – you learn from your mistakes and use it as a lesson to become a better person.
We all have different versions of what “perfect” is and what a “perfect life is.” For me, a person life is surrounded by my loved ones – my family, my friends and in the future, my husband and our children and pets; living in our dream home near the mountains and water; doing what I love and passionate about. To others, that may not be their idea of perfect, to some, my idea of perfect could be boring. Calling someone “perfect” is not only unfair to that person, but to you as well. You hold someone up on a pedestal and it turns you blind. You turn a blind eye because you’re so obsessed with the idea that person could do no wrong – that they couldn’t hurt anyone or say anything bad. But whether we ignore those parts or not, those parts exist.
Being perfect is impossible. We’re all human. We have our good days and our bad days. We have days where we’re absolutely motivated and working hard, and then there’s days where you don’t want to get out of bed and be productive. It’s called balance. You don’t have to be successful because you have a high paying job – you can be successful because you make someone happy, doing what you are passionate about. You’re not educated because you went to an ivy league and got top marks – you’re educated because you learned and are willing to learn. You’re not beautiful because you have a 6 pack, toned body, clear skin, white, straight teeth – you’re beautiful because you feel comfortable in your own skin, love your body and does not give a f*ck about fitting into society’s standards. You don’t have the perfect relationship because you always get along, have no differences – you have a “perfect” relationship because you are there for each other, through the good and bad, in sickness and health, for richer or poorer and will always love each other. This idea of perfect and thinking this and that is perfect will only hurt you. It will hurt you into thinking you’re not good enough, or that you’re unwanted or make you feel like you’re not loved. But that’s not true. You are loved whether you see it or not. You are “perfect” to someone.
Wanted to end this post, with one of my favourite songs. It’s also very fitting, don’t you think 😉