Buckle up babes, this is going to be a long post.
I’m soooo happy today is the last day of 2018. I, personally hated 2018. 2018 was a pretty sh*tty year for me. I went through A LOT. In the words of Ariana Grande, 2018 could be summed up as “I’ve loved and I’ve lost.” I found a new profound love for animals. I found love in wanting to help others. I found love in trying to better myself. I left a job I truly loved. I’ve lost love. I lost 4 family members this year. I was depressed and was anxious for most of September and October. I felt my patience and sanity being tested every.single.day. 2018 was so hard. I cried almost every day. I cried myself to sleep probably almost everyday from August to October. It didn’t look like I was this sad, miserable person – I tend to put up a happy front, so those around me are happy too. Losing family members, losing someone you loved all in a year…. it was painful. Sometimes, as I pray before I go to bed, I asked God “Why God? What did I do?” I’ve been counting down for 2019 to start. I’m just so over everything – I need a new clean slate in the new year. Move on and busy myself. Work on myself. Be happy.
My family and friends taught me love,
Love taught me patience,
Unwanted attention taught me pain,
2018, thank you, next.
THE OLD CHRISTINA CAN’T COME TO THE PHONE RIGHT NOW
I’m just going straight to the point. I’ve been more than patient and actually more than nice about this. There have been multiple times where I should have taken legal action and didn’t and people tend to mistake my kindness as a weakness. I’m tired, like REALLY, REALLY, REALLLLYYYY tired. I want to live a peaceful and happy life. Multiple people who have bullied and harassed me online. There’s also been people who have stalked me, my friends and family online. For example, there’s one incident where I have blocked this person, named Meggie (Yes, I know your names! It’s great to have a tech guy on your payroll) on every single social media platform I have and have blocked their IP address MULTIPLE times (we’re talking 10+ times), but they will not stop and they keep changing their IP and was still SOMEHOW accessing my blog even though it was under construction and not viewable by the public . They are not the only one currently doing this, but this particular individual has taken it way too far. There’s also Haley, Erin, Bridget, Katy, Kiana, Jordan, Katie, Laura and so much more who created fake accounts! Y’all creepy AF!So, to Meggie, to Jordan, to Laura, to Kiana and to ALL the other bored individuals, Please, PLEASE, PLEASE, leave me alone, stop making new accounts, stop changing your IP address. This fascination with my life is not healthy for either of us and needs to stop. I get that I have a blog for people to read. But here’s the thing, I don’t block accounts and IPs if they were a regular, normal reader following along. Your activities on both my accounts and blog is the reason you were blocked in the first place. I could have been a total b*tch and posted your account to expose you and how you look like (everyone has told me to do this by the way), but that’s not me. My parents taught me to respect people even if they don’t respect me or like me. So again, I’m kindly asking you to please leave me alone. Please, PLEASE respect my privacy and my mental health and please leave me alone. I really need all this obsession-fascination and negativity left behind in 2018. I’ve suffered a lot, mentally and emotionally personally and in my personal life and really just want to be left alone. It’s not too late to learn what respecting someone’s privacy is, learn what respecting others is, learn that my life is not for you to know or stalk. You are young, you have a whole life ahead of you. Go out, go explore the world. Get an education and get your dream job and do something fulfilling, leave your mark in this beautiful world. In a world where we should be building and empowering each other up, your actions are repulsive. There’s a lot of people who don’t stand up for themselves, who are afraid to stand up for themselves. I’m not. I’m not afraid to stand up for myself. I’m not afraid to call people out. You harass and bully me, I will call you out. I was given the right and voice to tell the truth and this is what I am doing.
The old Christina can’t come to the phone right now…. Because she’s gone. The Christina that lets people walk all over her, is gone. The Christina that lets people take advantage of her kindness, is gone. That Christina is gone and will forever be gone. 2018 is history. 2019 no more pushover Christina, no more nice to people who are mean to you Christina, she’s gone and will never be back.
YOU ARE ENOUGH
For as long as I could remember, this is the time where companies put out ads to make people change. They start showing ads to lose weight. There’s ads to change how you look and this and that. Honestly, I’m so sick of people trying to change people to fit into society’s standards of beautiful. Instead of telling you to change yourself, I hope the words below help you if you are ever feeling down or inspire you if ever need any inspiration in your life.
It’s going to be a busy couple of months – 20 months to be exact, until the launch of NINETYFOUR87!!!! AHHHH!!!! I’m at that stage where I’m like “OMG I CAN’T WAIT FOR SEPTEMBER 2020” and then there’s a part of me that’s like “oh, sh*t there’s 20 months until launch day!” It’s going to be a crazy couple of months and I’m looking forward to all the chaos, tears, meltdowns, laughs, late nights and early mornings.
In a previous blog post, I talked about how a majority of blog posts and other activities on ALSL, NINETYFOUR87 will be scheduled from now on. These scheduled posts will be posted on ALSL in the next couple of days. I tried to write and schedule posts that cover a variety of topics from self care to lifestyle to travel to beauty and style! I hope that each post is helpful and worth reading! I also seem to have run into trouble loading ALSL/Wordpress on my Mac. I’m still trying to figure out the problem, but we’re working on it!
Finally, I read over some comments on the ALSL Blog Survey and a few of you guys said that you don’t get notified if I post a new blog post. If you entered your email in the pop-up subscription, you will only receive emails if I send out a newsletter. I have not sent out any newsletters for ALSL or NINETYFOUR87, but will be working on it in the future. If you want to be notified for new blog posts, enter your email in the “Subscribe to blog” widget at the bottom of the blog. It will look something like this
Enter your name, email and other information it asks and confirm your subscription once you get the email. I am all for privacy, so you know I will 100% keep your information private and no one else will know your email and info. I added some security features to help the blog from spam accounts and hackers as well, so information is kept private.