Happy Thanksgiving to all my Canadian readers! Hope you all got to spend today with your loved ones!
Today, I’m answering a much requested post and one of my most asked question in my DMs (How do I get everything done is the second most asked question I get!). I get asked A LOT of how I handle the hate and the bullying, so it’s time to finally address it on the blog. Like I’ve said in the past, I don’t really have like a step by step direction on how I handle things. I kinda just deal with everything and try to forget about these hateful trolls (someone DMed me before and they called them “Christina Fan Club” and I laughed so hard) and live my life.
What people say about me is not my business
First, and foremost, I try to not let things get to me easily. I am in no way this super strong – super confident – not easily affected person. I’m human, I have feelings just like everyone else, so I’m not always my usual upbeat, happy, giggling self. I like to remind myself this quote “what people say about me is not my business” at times when people overstep their boundaries. People are always going to talk about you – good or bad. There’s no way of stopping it. If people are going to talk about me, then talk about me. I have nothing to hide, nor do I have anything to lose. What people say about me is not my business, nor should I let it affect me. I get A LOT of people sending me screenshots all the time and honestly, it is kinda alarming how people have the time to say and do all these things. Like with my free time, I binge watch Netflix series, or play video games or work on some pottery, work on some designs, or hang out with my loved ones, and then there’s others – these hateful trolls, who like to gossip about people and stalk my accounts. To each their own I guess. You can say this, you can say that about me until you are blue in the face, it’s not my problem what you think and say.
What Susie says of Sally says a lot more of Susie than it does of Sally
Going back to “what people say about me is not my business” I also like to think that whatever these hateful trolls say about someone, is a reflection of them and not me. If you do nothing, but talk sh*t about people and stalk everything they do and judge them, you live a very negative, hateful life – it’s a fact. If you’re offended, then it’s true. If you do nothing, but try to find the fault in others, searching high and low for dirt on others, you should really reconsider your life choices. Find a hobby, join a club, go to church, focus on school and stop putting people down and hiding behind your phone screens.
Some of you probably already know that I like to make my own quotes/graphics whenever I’m feeling sad. Whenever I am working on graphics and feeling a little down, I also have this folder on both my phones, iPad and Mac of funny videos, or watch FRIENDS and The Office. I like to watch them and they always bring a smile to my face and it helps me forget about the hateful messages I get.
Those who mind don‘t matter, and those who matter don‘t mind
I’ve learned to not take things seriously. I’ve learned to not pay these hateful trolls any attention, it takes away from my happiness, so I just block accounts where I see fit. Like I’ve said before, I don’t care for follows, likes and comments – and I for sure do not want people who hate follow me seeing me live my best life. I don’t have a lot of downtime and I’m always go on the go, so I like to spend all my energy on my life, my happiness, my loved ones and my work. My family, friends, loved ones and I know what’s true, and I and no one in my life have to prove anything for validation from hateful, petty trolls who hide behind their phone/computer/tablet screens. Don’t lower your standards and fall to the pressure of over sharing on social media. I will never, ever talk about my personal life, I will never, ever post photos for attention. I will never, ever name drop. I stay true to myself and I will not change for validation from others.
Rumours are started by haters, spread by fools and accepted by idiots
This is another saying I like to go by. This past year, I’ve learned that girls can be vicious – it’s very terrifying. I’ve never seen anything like it. Some will go to great lengths to hurt others girls they do not know because they are either jealous or just don’t like this person. They will call you names, start rumours about you, tell others false, sometimes demeaning stuff about you and these misinformed people will believe them. You can say what you want about me, I can’t stop you, but if you’re going to be talking cr*p, at least know the truth first. The things I get sent of people spreading these false rumours about me, are some next level crazy and honestly, I don’t even spend that much effort into my personal life like these people. These hateful trolls are more dedicated about my personal life than I am. They “think they know” me and my life, but they don’t know anything, and when they don’t know, they will make some crazy scenario up to make me look bad and honestly, it just shows how pathetic of a person they are. Sometimes I laugh because I think it’s just so sad and pathetic how some people are, but then sometimes I also feel scared that some people are like this and think they need to get help. I just try to live my best life, block these hateful trolls and continue living my life.
At the same time, these hateful trolls also made me more aware and a fighter. They helped me grow, they are also my “teacher” in the sense they taught me to stand up for myself and become a stronger person. If you’ve read my post last week about my bullying story, then you’ve read that my Mom said I have “this gift” of forgiving and forgetting. Give me a few minutes to process and calm down, and it’s like nothing happened, but I never, ever forget. I don’t really have anything to explain how I react the way I react, it’s just how I am. I know that not everyone you meet in life will like you and that’s okay, but people also don’t have the right to make you feel uncomfortable. But also at the same time, I do pity them. As much as they have hurt me, you can’t help but feel bad for them as well. Is it out of boredom, jealousy or something else psychologically? As a future Scientist working in Neuropsychology, I sometimes can’t help but think if this is a health issue and how can we cure this disease in the future. Most people will just say it’s out of pure jealously, but honestly, I don’t think it’s always about that, I do think this a mental health problem.
If this post has taught you anything, it’s to (1) not care what others think about you. As long as you are happy, no one else’s opinions matter (2) don’t pay attention to these hateful trolls. Block them and live your life (3) be your beautiful self and don’t fall to peer pressure (4) as long as you and your loved ones know the truth, don’t lower yourself for validation.
I hope this post somehow answers some of y’alls question! Please know, if you ever feel alone and don’t have anyone to talk to, my DMs are open and I am there for you! You can also send me a message!
Want more positive vibes? Check out the “Good Vibes” highlight on my Instagram for some words to brighten up your day!
Sending my love,